a good day. mixed, like most.
i attended a meeting. and taught an english class. and ate tacos with a good friend. i admit that, even through the hardest parts, i am in wonderment of this place. of this life.

dad, the yankees beat the twins in a 4 game sweep.


I wake up late but make my 9am meeting. It has been three weeks with my new co-workers. some no doubt still think im with the FBI. we're still getting to know each other. i dont see the man i am to meet with. we're to talk about a water project. he walks into his office, where i am waiting for him, and warmly shakes my hand. we exchange polite nothings and settle into a comfortable rythum. but then we're interupted. he's asked to sit in on another meeting. can we meet another day, he asks me. sure, i say.
I have an hour before my next meeting. I wonder into beautiful sunlight.
i walk into my favorite little shop. They sell phone cards and beans and cupcakes. Cupcakes it is. I speak a few words in english, just a few, and then quickly translate them so that my hosts can say them back, thus learning their words for the day. I immediately ask the wife when will we go dancing? This always brings the house down. The father and i joke around as i pick out my cupcakes. we exchange a warm hand shake, and i leave for my house.
Inside, i have two more cups of coffee. I feel like reciting shakespeare upside down at this point, but manage to fall back into my current book, "Master and Commander."
And then it's time to talk to Rodolfo, the jefe of medio ambiente. I get there, but he's not there. A thousand apologies, im told, Rodolfo had to come home. He's sick. He couldn't endure.
So, Rodolfo has the shitts.
I talk to his two underlings. They speak so quickly and with such little annunciation that i have to listen as best i can. i couldnt have had this meeting a year ago. we talk about the environment- their department- and some of their ideas, and how i might fit in. I direct the meeting to result in the three of us agreeing to accomplish different things before the next meeting. that's how it will be, i say, little by little, everyone doing something. They're satisfied.
It's lunch time now. I buy a small baggie of chopped veggies from someone selling. I fry these veggies and add two eggs, and then fry another 4 minutes. i eat the meal with three fresh corn tortillas. an apple. a glass of wather.
and now, im in the hammock. but only for an hour.
now, im heading back to the mayor's office. i pick up Osiris, the jefa de proyecion social, and we meet our compardres at the local NGO in town, called Ciazo. There are four employees. I like Alberto. Mario is interesting. Mirna isn't around. And Estaphanie is beautiful. But. Beautiful.
We pile into the pickup. And exit the town. We shuttle down the two lane back highway for twn minutes, going down hill, and then hang a left into a smaller community. Ten minutes later we are in the jungle, weaving between communities.
Alberto and Estaphanie drop us off. The community is. poor. i see it often but today it hurts. it's just so poor.
the people in the meeting are a little complacent. and tired. they work so hard. and just want drinking water for their kids that won't make them sick. we meet in a nice little building, a gift from some NGO. we talk about the local, civil development group in the town that is them. I've heard this story before. They are organized, but nothing is really going on. And im afraid that, though our intentions are good, we won't be able to really help this group develop. I've come along with someone in an NGO and a representative from the mayor's office. The conversation during the meeting is pleasant, and productive. But these people, hopeful of having some kind of potable water system, need so much more than a little training and motivation.
But that's not my role. I shake hands. And offer encouragement. And look into many sets of beautiful, brown eyes and give the warmest smile i can. which is easy. these people are very friendly. once you know where to look.
and that's the meeting.
i come home. open the door. look around. smile at a neighbor. and go inside. and deflate a little. and fall into my chair. just what the fuck am i doing here?
dusk brings such temperance. i sleep soundly. for an hour.
and then im up. and my shorts are on. and my shoes. with my basketbal tucked under my arm, i head for the court. im better than when i left. or when i arrived, rather. a lot better. i play a game of burro, and then some 21.
i walk home, but not before talking to my very good friend. he's leaving for the states soon. or so he says. i hope he gets there. but i hate to see him go. the town will miss him. ill miss him the most.
it's beautiful outside. i walk down two blocks to my house. facing down hill, i have this view of lightening striking down in the valley.
home again. i still need to wash a pair of socks. and brush my teeth. and say my prayers.
otro dis menos, otro dia mas. de vida.
tomorrow, another busy day.

these past four months have been really interesting.
interesting. that's a joke.
they were, at different times, beautiful, terrible, lonesome, inspirational... They were many things. And i think they were transitional. I'm working with new people, am suddenly busy, and feel, well, different.
and time passes so quickly. i know, oh god i hope, that a time will come when i won't want to leave all of this. im just not there yet.
the culture is so different. i sometimes want to stop people in their tracks and say,"hey, you know that thing you just did? that was foolish. and your kid was watching.WTF is wrong with you?" but that's not why im here. many people and most everything moves slowly. apathy is king. though love abounds.
i developed some serious feelings for a girl. we took it really so. i wasn't interested in something short term. she wasn't either. she also wasn't interested in dating someone that isn't a catholic and drinks beer. it's so funny: now that im a few weeks removed from all of this, i see so clearly how incompatible we would be romantically. turns out my heart wasn't listening, and i quickly fell for this girl. and she fell for me- or so she says. but still, she threw on the brakes, a few times, but was still interested. tough, right? the good news is that she is fantastic, i finally said no mas, we're still very good friends, and im feeling ok about all if it.

disclaimer: she is not the reason i wasn't blogging. nor was anything "wrong," which in turn kept me from writing. i just didnt feel it.
i still don't. but sat down to write two lines tonight, and find myself spilling it.

ok. more to come. soon.

peace and peace and peace,

wf.