the gusts of wind outside sound like surf landing on a beach.
at this moment, it's calm, but then arrives this urgent noise that when considered is only gone once again.

all i know is that i know SO very little, and dont deserve to ever...

today was great. summer school in her third day. in the morning, we played sports. the boys all went to the soccer field and played ball for the two hours. ours was a more difficult task. we had 20 girls, one basketball, one female police office who had never played basketball, and some white kid. all i could do was, was stand there, at least for the first few moments. for some reason, my life here caught up to me, and in that instant. all of a sudden, i was in el Salvador, trying to be, me, and i was surrounded by 11 year old girls and a middle-aged cop. so we made do. and had a great time. we formed two lines; one line took shots while the other rebounded. all i could do was watch. palm trees swayed, and little girls laughed and blushed at the gringo, and it all just hit me, how fucking unique is this? standing in el salvador, and looking on the brighter side, with the ocean in view, and in company of the optimistic.
shooting hoops got boring. obviously. so we played a few games. i was the ref. but i also played on a team, but i only scored once. we won, 4-2.
an hour later, im teaching english. the students are 10. there are 12 of them. they have the biggest eyes. and im such a unique sight, all they can do is watch me. we sing in english. i dance. we laugh our asses off. there's a kid with a black eye. i tell him life will be ok. he believes me.
and it's all so much. there are so many slow moments, but they're all so fucking filled with substance, i just dont know if i can take it.

and then i go home. and wind down. yes, there's a lot to digest, but tomorrow is another day in el salvador, and only a few hours away.